As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
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I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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