Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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