My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
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the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
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I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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