I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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