At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
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I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
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Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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