I hate your face
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
