we have pet lesbian snakes
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize