Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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