He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
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Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
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Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
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