I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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