Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You took a bar mat shot.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize