So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
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Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
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I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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