i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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