you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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