He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
