Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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