batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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