I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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