Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize