so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
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I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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