yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
this hospital has no fireball
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize