you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize