I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize