He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You can't just leave with hair like that
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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