The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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