I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize