Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize