He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
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win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
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We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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