you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i wish my penis had a tongue
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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