You made me cry and you don't even care
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize