So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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