did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
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He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
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I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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