Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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