My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize