Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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