Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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