every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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