I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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