Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize