there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize