Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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