I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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