I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize