My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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