I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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