Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
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i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
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Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My breasts were aching with rage.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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