I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
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How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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