she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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