shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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