hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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