physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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